By the end of lunch —if you can call one third of a salad, lunch —I begin to get into this diet business. I could stick with it this time, I think. I could really, really, once and for all slim down to an acceptable weight. What I need is just a bit of motivation. Literary motivation.

What I need is a good, uplifting story from an overweight housewife who went from being a fuzzy blob on a green couch in bad shorts to a digitally clear busty babe in a bikini. Or perhaps a diet doctor who can relate case study after case study about patients who were too fat to walk through his door and after six months on his program —voila!— were entering the Iron Man Competition and throwing out all their medications and using their old jeans as leaf bags.

Yes. That's what I must do, acquire some motivation immediately, before I lose momentum and drop out of the Cinderella Pact.

But I draw the line at gelatin.

Also, any recipe having to do with frozen buttermilk. I've been on too many eating programs where the dieticians try to "turn your favorite foods" into "healthy choices" with the ingenious but simple use of unflavored gelatin and frozen buttermilk.

Let's be honest. Chocolate mousse made with dark Swiss chocolate, Grand Marnier and heavy double cream is a delight to savor and should never be compared to the concoction made from unsweetened cocoa, Splenda, orange flavoring and gelatin. Nor can frozen buttermilk ever be transformed into anything approaching ice cream. This is what drives veteran dieters like me back to the Tollhouse.

I detour down the street into a local bookstore, figuring I can afford a few minutes before getting back to work to check out the diet books.

I feel excited and rejuvenated as I march myself to the Self Help section. This will be the moment I'll look back on years from now when I am thin. I will be able to say, "I owe it all to Dr. _____ and his/her book on weight loss/exercise/self-esteem which put me on the road to wellness/thinness/being a hot, sexy babe."

There are so many subsections it's hard to figure what I want. Am I diabetic? No. High cholesterol? Nope. Am I a sugar buster? A carb-o-holic? The adult child of a compulsive eater? Uh, yes. Perhaps I should eat according to my blood type. I can't do that, though, since I can never remember if I'm an A or an O and I'm too squeamish to take a test to find out.

Atkins I've done already —three times. With each Atkins diet I lost exactly twelve pounds, all of which immediately came back —like overnight —with one slice of pizza. Plus, testing my urine for ketosis got a bit stale, though in the beginning it was fun to watch the color changes. Somewhat gross, though.

South Beach takes too much work. Jane Brody means beans and I hate beans. Dean Ornish is no fun. Ditto for The Zone. Then again, none of them is exactly a trip to the circus.

And then I see it —Who Moved My Fat?: Making the Weight Loss Journey Fun! by Anne Renee Krugenheim, PhD. Hmm. She's German and she has three names so she must be a scientific expert.

I scan the index searching for any disturbing signs of gelatin usage. Finding none, I venture to the back cover.

Congratulations! If you're reading this right now, then you are taking the first step toward controlling your weight. You should be proud.

I smile. I am proud. Good for me.

And probably you've been on many diets before.

It's like she knows me!

That's because you've been taught to think of diets as a torturous means to a desired end.

They're not?

No! Diet comes from the Greek word "diata," which means "prescribed way of living."

That makes me feel much better.

In Who Moved My Fat?: Making the Weight Loss Journey Fun! Dr. Anne Renee Krugenheim will teach you to love your diet and yourself. Most importantly, you'll learn how to lose weight without once feeling deprived or denied. She will map out a journey that you'll want to take over and over for the rest of your life!

Ugh. I hate that, the rest of your life part.

So what are you waiting for? Why not start your journey now?

Yes. Why not? I think, flinching at the cost — $34.00. Well, it's money well spent and, besides, imagine all I'll be saving by not buying ice cream and Doritos and cheese and crackers or chocolate.